Sometimes the lights are shinning on me
Other times I can barely see
Lately it occurs to me
What a long strange trip it’s been
That we regard tenth or hundredth anniversaries as being special is actually just an accident of evolution. Because we have ten fingers, we based our most commonly used counting system on the number ten. If we had twelve fingers we would celebrate twelfth and one hundred and forty-fourth anniversaries instead; can’t see many people getting a telegram from the Queen on that system. If like the Simpsons we only had three fingers on each hand, we could make whoopee every six years with an extra big party every thirty-six years.
Today the Renaissance Mathematicus turns ten–time to blow up the balloons, hang out the bunting and bake a cake. I am in somewhat of a state of denial and disbelief that I have apparently managed to keep producing almost coherent scribblings on a fairly regular basis for all of ten years. As I have oft repeated in the past, when I started I wouldn’t have given this blog more than a ten per cent chance of surviving ten weeks let alone ten years. I also wouldn’t have seriously expected to gain more than ten readers. Instead of which we have the following, I think, mind boggling set of statistics for what is, after all, more than somewhat of a niche product in the grand scheme of all things Internet.
This is the 875th post on the Renaissance Mathematicus, there have been 1,318,488 views of those posts from 629,179 visitors, who have made 8.8 thousand comments. The Renaissance Mathematicus has 5,692 followers.
I’ve never counted but a rough guestimate is that in the last ten years I’ve written something north of half a million words! That 500,000! And I still claim I couldn’t write a book!
I don’t usually look at my blog statistics, as I see them as a sort of trap. Oh my god, so many readers, am I writing the right things to satisfy them? What, so few readers I must write something more popular/attractive/controversial or whatever to make my blog more attractive. No thanks! I just write what I want to write, ignore the statistics and if somebody reads what I write, fine. If not, also fine. In other words the only reason I trotted the statistics out today is because it’s my tenth boggiversary. If you want to see the statistics again come back in another ten years, assuming I’m still going or even still alive!
When I first started writing this blog I don’t really know what my aim/motivation/purpose was in writing it. I just felt that there were some things that I had collected in the back of my brain over the decades that I might possibly unload and a blog seemed like a good way to do so. Later I began to maybe regard the blog as a sort of substitute for the career I might have had, as a historian of science but for a number of complex reasons didn’t. I can’t say exactly when but somewhere down the line I realised that The Renaissance Mathematicus is not a substitute for anything, it’s me, it’s my calling, it’s what I do. In a different age I might have become a columnist or essayist in a newspaper or journal churning out weekly vignettes and reviews on a diverse range of history of science topics. It seems that is my strength and it’s what I feel comfortable with.
One of the things that became clear to me over the years is that I operate best just being me. I managed the history of science monthly blog carnival On Giants’ Shoulders for five years and complied and collated the online, weekly history of science journal Whewell’s Gazette for three years. These activities meant that I probably read more history of sciences blogs than anybody else in the whole Internet. There were and still are some very, very good history of science writers out there. I used to think I wish I could write as well as or express myself as cleverly as a whole lot of people that I regard as my superiors and betters. Somewhere down the line I stopped comparing, they do their thing I do mine. I now accept that I am who I am and other people do it differently.
In my teens I had already become a convinced atheist, something that has over the years never changed. I find it amusing when I write pieces defending or even praising a religious scientist and self-proclaimed radical atheists accuse me of being an apologist for the Church or Christianity in general, but I digress. In my youth I was what in England during the religious wars in the seventeenth century was called a Seeker, someone, who doesn’t acknowledge any particular group but is looking for answers. You might say I was looking for a lebensphilosophie or a moral compass or the meaning of life or just somewhere to belong, I don’t really know myself.
I read quite a lot of Western philosophy, a lot of anthropology, a lot of Buddhist and Daoist literature, a lot of esoteric literature especially on the I Ching, the novels of Hermann Hesse, Ken Kessey and Robert Heinlein, and the LSD preachings of Timothy Leary amongst many other diverse things. I also took an awful lot of drugs. I was looking for something but I don’t think I ever truly knew what it was that I was seeking. For what it’s worth my personal lebensphilosophie is a bastard mixture of Buddhism, Daoism, the Rantersand sex and drugs and rock’n’roll (in my case mostly West Coast rock especially the Grateful Dead). If I had a god it would be Shiva, the god of sex, drugs, rock’n’roll and death!
Amongst the things I read were the books of Carlos Castaneda supposedly about a Native Middle American shaman Don Juan, the first of which was The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge. I say supposedly because although Castaneda claimed they were factual accounts, modern scholars think they are fiction. Sometimes when you read a sentence sticks in your mind and becomes part of your personal store of knowledge. For example, somewhere in his writings Leary wrote, based on his interpretation of Vedantic philosophy, “Life is a farce, death is a farce, suicide is the ultimate farce,” a phrase that has literally saved my live a couple of times during the worst periods of my mental illness. The part of Castaneda’s writings that has remained with me and I paraphrase: Don Juan said that there are many different paths through life, it doesn’t matter which path you choose as long as it’s a path with a heart. The Renaissance Mathematicus is my path with a heart, it took me a long time to find it, but it’s never too late.
What about the future? Above I casually mentioned the next ten years but who knows? I do know that I’m not planning on quitting yet. I have enough ideas for blog posts, in petto, to keep going for at least another ten weeks.
Above I mentioned my claim that I wouldn’t be able to write a book, good for sprints but not for marathons. In fact I’m currently contemplating writing not one but two books! Some time ago a reader of my blog who is a very successful science writer offered to help me find a publisher and an editor for a printed-paper version of the blog. I suggested the way I wanted it to be done and he said that the editor would decide how to present the blog in book form. In my life I have taken a lot of left turns and even more detours but I have always decided what to do with my life and have stood by my mistakes and by god I’ve made more than a few. The blog is my baby, it is one hundred per cent my own creation and if it is going to become a book then it will be my book and not that of some editor or other. I am seriously contemplating self-publishing, my concept is to do groups of posts on related subjects–history of cartography, early Dutch science, Renaissance Nürnberg, the Renaissance mathematicus, women in science, and so on–slightly rewritten for book form with a new general introduction for each section. Working title: “The Renaissance Mathematicus Garage Sale!” One of my readers, has successfully self-published and I’m hoping that he’ll give me some tips down the line. Another reader has already offered to help me set the final text for printing, he used to do this for a living, so maybe at some point I shall be running a GoFundMe to help launch the printed version of The Renaissance Mathematicus.
It should have become fairly obvious that the current series of posts, “The emergence of modern astronomy – a complex mosaic,” is actually the abstract/sketch/backbone for a potential book. When I finish the blog post series, if I like what I have, I will rewrite, refine, improve, expand the whole thing into a book and maybe try to find a publisher, maybe self-publish. All of this is of course future dreams but as Oscar Hammerstein II once wrote, “You’ve gotta have a dream. If you don’t have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true?”