“Within the stress of Research” – A collaborative composition with apologies to Paul Simon

 

Hello JSTOR my old friend[1]

I’ve come to search in you again[2]

Because a reference softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was reading[3]

And the paper that was gnawing at my brain

Still remains[4]

Within the stress of research[5]

 

Through restless links I searched alone

Papers from journals I do not own

Neath the halo from my desk-lamp

I turn my collar to the research lab[6]

 

When my eyes were stabbed by the pain

Of a sleepless night

As I tried to write

Through the stress of research[7]

 

And in the flickering light I saw

Ten thousand deadlines maybe more[8]

Within the stress of research

 

Post-doc said, ah you do not know

Research like a cancer grows

Hear my words that I might teach you

Read my diss’ and it might reach you

But my sources like undergrads they failed

Adding to the stress of research[9]

 

Then the faculty bowed and prayed

To bureaucratic gods they made

And the REF flashed out its warnings

Low impact scores were alarming[10]

 

And the graphs and words from students

Were projected on the classroom walls and lecture halls

Folks breaking under the stress from research[11]

 

Composed 31 August 2017

Extended 5 September 2017

[1] Clare @mcclare95

[2] JSTOR @JSTOR

[3] Thony Christie @rmathematicus

[4] Vivek Santayana @viveksantayana

[5] Thony Christie @rmathematicus

[6] Eric Keeton @w0wkeeton

[7] Vivek Santayana @viveksantayana

[8] Vivek Santayana @viveksantayana

[9] Eric Keeton @w0wkeeton

[10] Vivek Santayana @viveksantayana

[11] Eric Keeton @w0wkeeton

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5 Comments

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5 responses to ““Within the stress of Research” – A collaborative composition with apologies to Paul Simon

  1. I genuinely LOL’d at this three times. Looking forward to coming back and doing it again in a day or two’s time — or sooner.

  2. These parts are incomplete:

    When my eyes were stabbed by the pain

    Of a sleepless night

    As I tried to write

    Through the stress of research[7]

    And in the flickering light I saw

    Ten thousand deadlines maybe more[8]

    Within the stress of research

  3. Sorry, only the stuff after[7] is incomplete.

    Also, the light is naked, not flickering (at least, that is how it is described).

    Here’s my attempt:

    And in the naked light I saw
    Ten thousand articles, maybe more
    All articles which I should heed
    Articles I have no time to read
    Articles arriving at conclusions which readers never shared
    Since no-one dared
    Disturb the stress of research

  4. At Peter Cole’s blog In the Dark, I once wrote a sonnet in a comment within a few minutes of reading my motivation for doing so.

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